SOCIAL SKILLS IN CHILDREN:
We are interdependent on each other as a family, as a unit and as a society. We are not in that age in time where transhumanism or living on islands in isolation is a norm. We have social networks, family systems, neighbourhoods & friends. In schooling system children are ‘taking friends as competitors'. This puts a child in a psychologically vulnerable state. He feels insecure about ‘Friendship’.
Who are real friends?
Rather parents & teachers should teach him about Real Friendship. A ‘like’ click on his photo is not a sign of likeness or real friendship. Real friends are those who emotionally connected. Friends are naturalist problem solvers, a shoulder to cry on. Real friends do not need to be handful; perhaps one or two really close friends can change the world for your child.
Growth mindset
Children should be in a conducive learning environment, which means they should be in a secure environment. Value their Questions. We will never be satisfied if our success criteria comes from Herd mentality. That is usually to compete and topple others. A child never grows in this type of environment. Unfortunately, schooling system is all about marks, grade and competition.
Friends as Natural Teachers
Our unnecassary interference can hinders a child natural learning proces. Which comes from free play, mingling with other children and problem-solving.. I remember we used to combine at a friend's place to study a difficult subject. Teaching each other is very beneficial, some say if we can't say it we don't know it. Children learn more from eachother.
Introduce children to each other in a classroom setting or a neighbourhood or a sports club. Children can be dependent on each other for the sake of learning. Trust your children. God has build a strong moral compass in them. They are emotionally intelligent.
Emotionally independent
When we live together, we become dependent on each other emotionally! Rather teach them to be emotionally dependent on Allah only. They will experience 'Psychological shelter' later in their lives when they become adults.
Adults have to take care of children's emotional needs & not make unrealistic demands. Unrealistic expectations can break a child and chatter his self-confidence.
Unnecessary Competitions
Certain types of competitions are not at all required. They do not implant any seed of tarbiah in our children. They are impractical and rather have a negative impact on their personalities. Competing friends make them lose their friends. Children do not intellectually blossom nor do they learn any morals. These lodge a sense of pride in parents for achieving trophies.
We compete with each other in the corporate world through grading systems. This cut-throat competition is seen in civilised societies as well. Our children are a victim of this too. Competing with our own previous performance is an example of Growth mindset. While looking at others to knock them down and achieve a higher standar is an example of a Fixed mindset. Growing their inborn, innate skills help them excel their passions. Arts and crafts was God gifted to me. It is intrinsic & I can express myself in my paintings. I speak about the conservative Islamic lifestyle in my paintings.
Right approach to Tarbiyah (upbringing)
Parents worry about “what will they eat in future? how will they earn bread?” These worries despairs a child's confidence in The Greatness of Allah. Does he fall a hundred times but learns his real life lessons?
Sometimes books cannot teach practically learnt lessons. Reliance and complete dependence on Allah comes from right tarbiyah. May Allah guide us to right tarbiah of our children. Ameen
We are interdependent on each other as a family, as a unit and as a society. We are not in that age in time where transhumanism or living on islands in isolation is a norm. We have social networks, family systems, neighbourhoods & friends. In schooling system children are ‘taking friends as competitors'. This puts a child in a psychologically vulnerable state. He feels insecure about ‘Friendship’.
Who are real friends?
Rather parents & teachers should teach him about Real Friendship. A ‘like’ click on his photo is not a sign of likeness or real friendship. Real friends are those who emotionally connected. Friends are naturalist problem solvers, a shoulder to cry on. Real friends do not need to be handful; perhaps one or two really close friends can change the world for your child.
Growth mindset
Children should be in a conducive learning environment, which means they should be in a secure environment. Value their Questions. We will never be satisfied if our success criteria comes from Herd mentality. That is usually to compete and topple others. A child never grows in this type of environment. Unfortunately, schooling system is all about marks, grade and competition.
Friends as Natural Teachers
Our unnecassary interference can hinders a child natural learning proces. Which comes from free play, mingling with other children and problem-solving.. I remember we used to combine at a friend's place to study a difficult subject. Teaching each other is very beneficial, some say if we can't say it we don't know it. Children learn more from eachother.
Introduce children to each other in a classroom setting or a neighbourhood or a sports club. Children can be dependent on each other for the sake of learning. Trust your children. God has build a strong moral compass in them. They are emotionally intelligent.
Emotionally independent
When we live together, we become dependent on each other emotionally! Rather teach them to be emotionally dependent on Allah only. They will experience 'Psychological shelter' later in their lives when they become adults.
Adults have to take care of children's emotional needs & not make unrealistic demands. Unrealistic expectations can break a child and chatter his self-confidence.
Unnecessary Competitions
Certain types of competitions are not at all required. They do not implant any seed of tarbiah in our children. They are impractical and rather have a negative impact on their personalities. Competing friends make them lose their friends. Children do not intellectually blossom nor do they learn any morals. These lodge a sense of pride in parents for achieving trophies.
We compete with each other in the corporate world through grading systems. This cut-throat competition is seen in civilised societies as well. Our children are a victim of this too. Competing with our own previous performance is an example of Growth mindset. While looking at others to knock them down and achieve a higher standar is an example of a Fixed mindset. Growing their inborn, innate skills help them excel their passions. Arts and crafts was God gifted to me. It is intrinsic & I can express myself in my paintings. I speak about the conservative Islamic lifestyle in my paintings.
Right approach to Tarbiyah (upbringing)
Parents worry about “what will they eat in future? how will they earn bread?” These worries despairs a child's confidence in The Greatness of Allah. Does he fall a hundred times but learns his real life lessons?
Sometimes books cannot teach practically learnt lessons. Reliance and complete dependence on Allah comes from right tarbiyah. May Allah guide us to right tarbiah of our children. Ameen
