Uninvited Teaching creates mistrust

As observed in toddlers, there comes a phase where they want to feed themselves. They don’t want to be fed by parents, consequently the room to mess must be offered by the parents. If I force to feed them, there is yelling, kicking and flinging of food. As mothers, call this ‘pushing our buttons,’ or ‘pushing our limits’ but we forget they also need a room to discover, explore and experiment. Perhaps traveling offers children more to explore and investigate and supports parents in leaving things to be done by other people, such as cleaners, air hostesses, chefs and chauffeurs. Traveling diverts the parent’s attention to other things and children are learning as they interact with people, watch different cities, cultures, experience different hospitalities. They pick up emotional messages from everywhere they go and from every stare or gesture they receive from people around them. An experiment five years ago, suggested that babies are equipped with an innate moral compass, which drives them to choose good individuals over the bad. They can sense lovable vs non-loveable beings. Babies show signs that they know right from wrong, and when asked, they prefer a "helper" over a "hinderer." Even so, new research suggests other factors may be responsible for babies' seeming morality. Obviously, the idea that morality is innate is extremely interesting and, if true, would raise questions about which components of our moral system are innate, however when we doubt these innate systems, we develop distrustful relationship.
My mother sends us forwarded messages on the family Whatsapp group and nearly in every video message there is a naseeha or advice and underneath she always writes ‘must listen.’ I will admit I do not open all of her videos or naseeha’s rather I pick and choose, and if I am in dire need of it, I would just call and take her advice. The things I understand about life at my stage is different from my childrens’ I want to teach them all the things life has taught me, but they will be a product of their life experiences, what life will throw at them, their decisions, their walks of life will be different than mine. Their Shaakila (mould) will be shaped according to the opportunities they are provided. We are given a countless number of opportunities in front of us. These chances that we take and turn down is what shapes us up to be the person that we are. We are Learning animals; family, friends, relationships, love & hate, schools, careers, passions, deaths and opportunities make us Learning animals. Children are emotionally intelligent; they express openly and adapt to hide their feelings to protect themselves when needed.
Have you ever been so immersed in what you were doing that all distractions and background chatter just fell away? Nothing existed except the music and your thoughts, your skis and the slope, your car and the road. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, distinguished professor of psychology at Claremont Graduate University in Claremont, Calif., calls that state of intense absorption “flow.” (becoming engaged)
For decades, he explored people’s satisfaction in their everyday activities, finding that people report the greatest satisfaction when they are totally immersed in and concentrating on what they are doing. In studies by Csikszentmihalyi and others, flow experiences led to positive emotions in the short term, and over the long term, people who more frequently experienced flow were generally happier. Researchers have also found that people vary in how much they value having flow experiences, and in how easy they find it to enter flow. No matter what your natural tendency, recognizing how flow occurs (or doesn’t) in your life and creating opportunities for more flow experiences can be a potent route to increased happiness. From a Deen’s perspective I will call “Flow” “khushu” or tawassuff, no matter how much Islam we teach the other person, his connection with Allah is not in our control, we cannot experience his khushu and he cannot experience ours. Thus, a lot of times we have to give up teaching to expect the exact results what we desire. May Allah help us & our children experience the sweetness of khushu. Ameen